Sunday, October 19, 2014

The moment I realized I was a hypocrite

I make it very obvious I'm feminist. It is no secret because I feel it is very simply. Women deserve equality and respect. What's so hard to comprehend? I'll tell you what, not shit. Yet I see it every day. The victim blaming, the body shaming, the general inequality of everyday life.

I walk around criticizing people for making women feel bad about their choices. I preach from the rooftops that girls should wear whatever they want to. Don't pull back on what you want to do because boys won't stop staring at your fine ass in those tight pants (where is that a woman's fault anyways ammiright?). Its so obvious. You can't wear spaghetti straps to school because its inappropriate? You can wear yoga pants to school unless your ass is completely covered?! We are obviously living in a warped world because this can't be real. Young girls can't wear certain things to school, that will make them comfortable both in their mind and actual comfort, because young boys have hormones and might get distracted? Why don't we just hold seminars to teach boys that it's not okay to objectify women and stare at them and distract yourself because GOD DAMN THOSE SHOULDERS LOOK FINE! It's not okay.

Which is why I stopped dead in my tracks today when I realized I was doing it. I come from a strict family, I grew up a certain way. Which is why its still shocking, even to myself, that I am this feminist, girl power, gay rights advocate power woman today. I wasn't ever allowed to wear short skirts and shorts and stuff like that and it didnt really bother me because I didn't want to. Im to pale and have bird legs to feel confident in those clothes. Then it started to interfere with things I liked wearing. They dont like me to wear leggings as pants (They obviously havent tried it) which is something I really like to do because they're fast, easy and comfortable. So I started to not wear them, even if I wanted to, because there was such this negative connotation behind them that was not the wearers fault, but the viewers fault. It wasn't until today when a specific incident happened and my dad told me her didnt want to see me in a particular piece of clothing ever again. Now, in my defense, I don't remember ever wearing this piece of clothing, and if I did it would definitely not be something I wore frequently. I mean realistically, a sheer top would make me look like an eleven year old boy soccer player in a mesh warm up. But I agreed and I was like yeah why would I wear a sheer top with no tank top? Not my style. And I sat in my room and I thought to myself, what if I did wear that shirt on purpose? What's so wrong? What if I was feeling confident and good about myself. I wouldn't be asking to be looked at and objectified. I just want to wear something and feel confident, because I dont very often these days, and now I would be made out to be the bad guy when in reality I was feelin fly as shit for once.

Women are not yours to objectify. I don't want a list of things I can wear, and if I do wear them it means I have no self-respect or decency. Quit interfering with women's lives and making it complicated for them just so that your day is a little easier and less distracting. We're born with these boomin curves and parts and there's nothing we can do to change it and if it's distracting to you well then honey DON'T LOOK. Cause my ass loves leggings as pants, outerwear, swimwear, formal wear and any other occasion.

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