My job

I've hated any kind of work for as long as I can remember. I am not being dramatic I'm serious. I consciously chose an ass whooping rather than pick up all my toys when I was two and a half. So my mom dished out an ass smack and in return she picked up my toys while I got to sit by and watch.

And it was in that moment that I realized how much I actually hate doing stuff. Any kind of stuff. But that's okay because I don't have to. If I want to sit in my room and watch netflix until my mattress has my body imprinted into it then I'll do it. But there is a problem

I have a job. Not just any job. A waitressing job. I am one of the most bitter unloving people I have ever come across yet I chose a job where I deal with the worst kind of people for 30 hours a week.

In the absence of a "Please seat yourself" sign DO NOT seat yourself. This is not an arbys, you may not just choose whatever seat that best accentuates your chain wallet. That's my job. That's what I get paid 3.95 an hour for.

I chose a job where I constantly have to repeat myself 600 times a day. "Do you have mai-tai's?" Well, lady, according to the drink you have already looked at, NO. Beer and Wine only, I say out loud to her. As her friend next to her says she'll have a strawberry margarita. Nope, no you will not. Because as I have clearly stated two and a half seconds ago BEER AND WINE ONLY.

NO YOU HYPERACTIVE SIX YEAR OLD WE DO NOT HAVE DUCK SAUCE QUIT YELLIN ABOUT HOW YOUR GOING TO EAT BROCCOLI AND DUCK SAUCE.

NO WE DO NOT HAVE FREE TABLE BREAD GO TO LONGHORN. OR PUT A LOAF OF BREAD IN YOUR PURSE FOR YOUR KID WHO KEEPS TRYING TO ORDER PIZZA AT A HIBACHI GRILL.

My favorite so far, and I still have found a way to hate it. Is netflix a job because I watch so much House M.D on netflix that I think I am capable of achieving a medical degree without any proper training. It's probably not true but I feel like a walking in person version of web MD.

So who knows I'll probably be in diagnostic medicine soon.